Growing up, I pictured myself being the perfect mom to my kids – a mom who would always be patient and never yell nor get frustrated with her children. Fast forward to 18 years later, I am now a mother of one very active son and I can tell you that my perfect idea of motherhood is not what always plays out in my day to day dealings with my son.
Many times he misbehaves and I get frustrated and yell or seek other means to control him but moments afterward resolve to do better. My resolutions have however not helped me because, in moments of rage, I find myself forgetting them and again throwing caution to the wind. Thanks to my elder sister who taught me to be a good mom from her relationship with her kids. I am now better than I was when my journey of motherhood began. Here are the ideas I gained from her on how to be a good mom.
1. Show Your Child Unconditional Love
Every child needs love from both parents and will flourish under this condition. We must, however, be careful as parents not to demand a particular standard from our kids in exchange for our love. Our kids should know we love them always, even when they are in their worse behavior or are not particularly acting according to our desires. Only then will they let us into their world, welcome our teachings and corrections and strive to be better people.
2. Always Choose To Be Joyful
A joyful mother will naturally spread joy to her household. As the saying goes- ‘a merry heart does good like a medicine’. Yes, life has its many challenges and can be hard, but, in spite of all these odds, choose to be a better mom by sharing joy, love, and hope rather than gloominess, hopelessness, anger, and hate.
3. Encourage An Atmosphere Of Peace In Your Home
Our homes should not be a war zone. In fact, our kids should find solace in being at home with us. That’s why I encourage couples who have disputes to resolve them quietly in their rooms without their kids getting to know. And parents not using or encouraging the use of foul and angry language.
Let your child feel safe and at peace at home. This way they will always look forward to coming back to you and will see you as a friend and confidante.
4. Be Kind To Your Kids
Most times, mothers think being kind to their kids is something that they can easily do, after all, no right-thinking mother will want to harm her child. Yes, I agree there is a special connection between mother and child but this bond can be deepened when we mothers are gentle and patient with our kids.
To further buttress my point here, I will cite the story of my cousin Sarah as an example. She has a son, who was not doing well in school despite a large amount of money and efforts being invested into him. Many times, she got frustrated and expressed her anger towards him. This of cause made the child depressed and unhappy.
She later found out her child was dyslexic, a medical condition with impaired ability to comprehend written words usually associated with a brain disorder, hence his poor performance in school. Upon realizing this, she felt bad and sought ways to try to make amends. This case is one of the many cases, kids all over the world have to deal with. Our kids need us to be there for them, loving and accepting them always!
5. Live By Your Words
Our kids see us as their role models. It is important we act up according to our roles by living by our words and being good examples that they can emulate.
6. Be Disciplined
Being a good mom requires that we practice self-control in our conduct as individuals and parents. For instance, we should not be seen indulging in vices as this could have a negative impact on our kids, who look to us for guidance daily.
7. Praise Them When They Do Good
Good moms are known for praising their kids when they do well and downplaying their faults. The purpose of this is to boost the child’s confidence and encourage good behavior.
8. Take Care Of Yourself
To be a good mom, it is important You, first of all, take good care of yourself by carving out some ‘me time’ for yourself each day. The essence of this is for you to refresh yourself so you can function effectively and efficiently as a person, mother, and friend.
9. Seek Counsel From Other Moms
No one knows it all. We sometimes run out of ideas on how to relate with or manage our kids. That is why it is important that from time to time, we seek counsel from more experienced people, who are doing well in the areas we need to be enlightened on.
10. Make Out Time For Your Kids
Our kids need our attention, we should daily make out time to listen, interact, and have fun with them. Invest in moments that will count as wonderful memories for them.
Qualities Of A Good Mom
From the above tips on how to be a good mom, a good mom is one that has these qualities: patience, gentleness, goodness, self-control, love, joy, and peace.
How To Be A Good Mom When Depressed
Depression is a state of unhappiness that does not allow the best expression of motherhood qualities. Any mom who is depressed should, first of all, get herself out of that state by making conscious efforts to be joyful.
To encourage you in the journey of motherhood I will share the following famous motherhood quotes with you.
“Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.” – Dorothy Canfield Fisher
“A mother’s love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible” – Marion C. Garretty.
“Mother’s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved.” – Erich Fromm.
“There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” – Jill Churchill
“Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.” – Ricki Lake.
“A mother’s love endures through all.” – Washington Irving.
“The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness.” – Jessica Lange.
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