Intimacy is a state of having a close personal relationship or romantic relationship with someone. It is a very important ingredient of marriage. Without it, marriage just cannot survive. This is why couples have to engage in marriage intimacy exercises and make sure they know how to bring back intimacy in a marriage when it is no more there.
Lack of intimacy in marriage is a common problem most couples have to grapple with. This problem could arise as a result of infidelity, over-familiarity, lack of affection, ill-health, and others. There is an unending need for couples to learn how to improve marriage intimacy because romantic feelings are transient. Hence the act of rebuilding intimacy in marriage is a topic all couples should be interested in.
It is normal for couples who want to know how to improve marriage intimacy to ask questions bordering on how to build emotional intimacy or what to do when the intimacy is gone. It is also not out of place for some ladies to wonder how to build intimacy with a man who seems attracted to another woman. All these questions about how to improve intimacy in marriage will be duly answered in this article. But it is first of all important for you to know the signs of lack of intimacy in marriage.
Signs Of Lack Of Intimacy In Marriage
- You feel alone.
- You don’t communicate with your partner.
- You feel your affection and care are not being reciprocated.
- You don’t enjoy your partner’s company.
- There is no physical intimacy.
- You don’t engage in activities that can help you bond.
- You don’t listen to each other.
- You don’t value each others’ opinions.
What To Do When The Intimacy Is Gone
Rebuilding intimacy in marriage is not an impossible task. it can be achieved if you are determined and ready to do all that it entails. Here are some tips that will guide you.
1. Be Positive
When you notice that the intimacy between you and your spouse is no longer there, it is first of all important to stay positive and believe that it can be restored. The reason for this is that it is your determination to set things right and restore intimacy that will spur you to do the work restoring intimacy requires.
2. Remember The Good Old Days
Sometimes couples forget what made them fall in love when going through trying times in marriage. What these couples need to do is to reminisce on their good old days and revive them once again.
3. Be An Excellent Team Player
Let your partner in on everything you are doing at each point in time in your life, so he/she doesn’t start to feel alone.
Your marriage can never be in good form without good communication. There is a way couples should communicate to keep their romantic feelings for each other ever fresh. If you feel like you are not communicating well with your partner and need to improve, check out my blog post titled Secrets Of Happy Couples. It has all you need to know about communication in marriage.
5. Be kind
Learn to be kind to your spouse. Use kind words when speaking to each other. For example – your husband could return home from work and complain about how he made a mistake in the office that almost cost him his job. What you should do at that moment is to calm his anxiety and make him feel at home. You can then correct him politely afterward. Trust me, he’ll listen and adhere to your correction.
According to Magnus Pyke – “The only way to be safe, is never to try anything for the first time”. For you to enjoy a strong lasting and healthy marriage, you should never give room to distrust. “No man is an island’’. Learn to trust your spouse.
7. Put Yourself In Your Spouse Shoes
Never assume what your spouse is thinking. Some people live their lives and marriage based on assumptions. Sometimes what you think is the opposite of what’s going on. For instance, a depressed person will stay away from people. This doesn’t mean the person is cheating. Try as much as possible to see things from your spouse’s perspective sometimes.
8. Be Cheerful
To revive intimacy in your marriage, be in a happy mode always. Let your happiness pass on to your spouse. Always live a happy life by consciously choosing to dwell on positivity and not negativity. If you feel like this is difficult to achieve, you should read my article titled 10 Ways To Find Happiness In Every Situation.
9. Be Romantic
Never let the romance between you and your spouse die. Any marriage void of romance is a marriage in trouble. Make out time for your spouse. Touch him passionately, cook meals together, talk and make love. Create unforgettable memories that you can both remember.
10. Initiate Lovemaking
Intimacy isn’t only for a man. Your man mustn’t be the only one to ask for it. You also have to make a move. Sometimes call him while he’s at the office and inform him to prepare for an “unforgettable night”. This will help him know you enjoy being intimate with him and he will start looking forward to intimate moments with you.
11. Spend Time Together
Spend quality time together. During this time, try a variety of fun activities. For amazing ideas on awesome activities to engage in with your spouse, read my blog post titled The Best 20 Bonding Activities For Married Couples.
12. Flirt With Your Spouse
Over seriousness can make a relationship boring. A friend once told me
this: “I use every opportunity to flirt with my spouse. He could point out something to me and I’ll reply by saying -whisper it in my ear or I will say look into my eyes and say it. I discovered in my almost ten years of marriage that it has been working”.
Be like this friend of mine. Give your spouse something to ponder on when he or she is away.
13. Touch Your Spouse Affectionately
Affection rekindles passion between two lovers. Don’t wait till it’s time for love-making to show affection. You can offer your spouse a back rub or body massage or whatever you feel sets him in the right mood for intimacy.
14. Whisper Romantic Words During Lovemaking
One unique way to make a man go crazy in bed is to whisper. Yes! Whisper in his ears to ‘ride on’, or tell him how good you feel as he ‘rides you’. This will boost his appetite during lovemaking.
Marriage Intimacy Exercises
1. Be A Good Listener
Learn to listen to your spouse when he/she tries to communicate with you. Don’t interrupt or assume you already know what your spouse wants to say. Show interest in whatever he or she has to say, whether you like the idea or not. This will make him or her feel confident and capable at all times.
2. There Should Be Eye Contact
Ensure you look your spouse in the eye when he or she is talking, it shows that you respect your spouse and he/she has your undivided attention.
3. Send A Text Or Write A Note
Send your spouse romantic texts when he or she least expects it or slip in sweet notes into your partner’s pocket. These little acts can help intimacy to grow in marriage.
4. Don’t Excuse Heartfelt Topics
Always make efforts to discuss your problems as a couple rather than sweeping issues under the rug. Doing this will help you and your partner have a better understanding of each other and it will help create the right atmosphere for intimacy.
5. Let It Out
Some persons feel that when they ask for things, they’re being too demanding. It isn’t true. You’ve got to be specific about what you need. Only a need shared will be met.
6. Never Hold A Grudge Against Your Partner
Forgive any offense that needs to be forgiven and let your partner know when you’re not happy about any of his/her actions or words.
How To Build Emotional Intimacy
The following are ways you can build emotional intimacy in marriage.
No marriage can survive without communication. Most issues in a marriage are usually caused by misunderstandings. You need to talk to your partner often. Don’t allow family needs, and other issues to ruin your communication.
Differences have always existed and they always will. Learn to understand your spouse by accepting his or her personality and trying to see things from your spouse’s perspective. Doing this will help you win the love, affection, and trust of your spouse.
There’s an adage that says – “respect is reciprocal”. It is normal to get attracted or attached to anyone who respects you. Respecting your spouse will make him/her feel special and your marriage will get better when your spouse knows that you respect him/her sincerely.
4. Speak Appreciative Words
Use every opportunity you have to let your spouse know how much you love and appreciate him/her. Be thankful for every gift and favor your spouse does for you. Say words like “thank you” and “I appreciate you” often. Doing this will help your partner to know how much you care and it will create the right atmosphere for love to prevail in your marriage.
Intimacy in marriage is very important for its sustenance. Give no room to boredom in your relationship. Do all you can to build intimacy and watch how this will help strengthen your relationship with your spouse.