100+ Funny Jokes to Tell your Friends
Some friendships are built on memorable experiences and deep conversations. Others? On dumb puns, ridiculous roasting, and that one inside joke that never gets old, no matter how many times you say it. And while it is important to have a mature friend, we just can’t live without the absurd kind of friendship!
Let’s be real—there’s nothing like making your friends laugh so hard that they snort, spill their drink, and literally jump on you trying to control their laughter! So if you’re here looking for 100 funny jokes to tell your friends, you probably already know how great it feels to be the one who drops the funniest jokes ever.
And honestly? We need that.
Life can get too serious too fast. Deadlines, workplace drama, doomscrolling—sometimes all you need is a good laugh to shake it off. Well, we are here just for that. This list isn’t just a bunch of recycled jokes from the back of a cereal box (okay, maybe one or two might have slipped in).
We are talking about the kind of jokes that make your friends roll on their stomachs and yell, “Stop! I am gonna fart myself.” We have funny jokes for every kind of friend group: the sarcastic ones, the silly ones, and the ones who turn everything into a roast battle.
We have broken them down into categories so you can find your flavor of funny, whether you’re going out for smart, savage, random, or pure nonsense. Ready to be the funniest person in the room?
100+ Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends
Okay, here’s the stash! You asked for funny jokes to tell your friends—I may have gone a little overboard. Some of these will have your friends rolling. Some will make them roll their eyes. That’s part of the fun. Ready? Let’s go.
1. I told my boss that three companies were after me. He asked which ones. I said gas, electric, and water.
2. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
3. What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.
4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
5. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
6. I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
7. What’s the difference between Iron Man and Aluminium Man? Iron Man stops the bad guy. Aluminium Man foils their plans.
8. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. He said his summer was pretty good, too.
9. I’m not a fan of spring cleaning. Let’s be honest, I’m not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either.
10. Why shouldn’t you fundraise for marathons? They just take the money and run.
11. What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable.
12. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!
13. Why can’t you put two half-dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a hole, and your money will fall out!
14. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of trousers? In case he got a hole-in-one.
15. A slice of apple pie costs $2.50 in Jamaica, $3.75 in Bermuda, and $3 in the Bahamas. Those are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.
16. Why was the bee’s hair always sticky? It used a honeycomb.
17. Why did the Rolling Stones stop making music? Because they got to the bottom of the hill.
18. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
19. My phone battery lasts longer than most of my friendships from high school.
Must Read Article— Jokes for Kids!
Corny Jokes your friends will secretly love
There’s just something about a good old corny joke that hits the right spot, especially when your friends pretend to hate them, but you can clearly see they are trying hard not to smile. These corny dad jokes make everyone groan, roll their eyes, and then laugh anyway.
So if you’re in the mood to annoy (and entertain) your crew just a little, this list of stupid jokes is your new best friend.
20. My cat applied for a job. When asked about experience, she said, “Nine lives worth.”
21. I told my suitcase we’re not going on vacation this year… now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
22. Why did the computer go to therapy? Too many unresolved issues.
23. I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia… she whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
24. Why were the fish’s grades bad? They were below sea level.
25. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing—it just let out a little wine.
26. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.
27. I bought a pen that only writes compliments. Now my shopping list says, “You’re doing amazing, sweetie.”
28. I started a club for people who cancel plans. No one ever shows up. It’s perfect.
29. I told my books they need to stop falling over. They said they just can’t shelf their emotions.
30. My alarm clock has the worst attitude—always going off when I’m happiest.
31. My pen ran out of ink halfway through a poem. Very dramatic ending.
32. I joined a gym… and now I drive past it very regularly.
33. I asked my brain for positive thoughts. It redirected me to voicemail.
34. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu. You just get what you deserve.
35. Two pencils are talking. One says, “You’re looking sharp today.” The other replies, “You’re just saying that because I’m on point.”
36. What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? You’ll see one later and one in a while.
37. I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
38. I asked my fridge how it’s doing… now we both feel cold inside.
39. My bed said, “Don’t leave me.” I hit snooze. True love.
Must Read Article— Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist!
Funniest Jokes to Keep the Whole Gang Laughing
Are you planning a night with friends? Group chat heating up? Here’s your secret weapon for the night—a line-up of seriously funny jokes that will keep everyone laughing and banging their heads on the wall.
40. I asked my fish how it’s doing. It said, “I’m hooked on life.”
41. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
42. What does a spy do when he is cold? He goes undercover.
43. The owner of the tuxedo store kept hovering over me when I was browsing, so I asked him to leave me alone. He said, “Fine, suit yourself.”
44. I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.
45. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
46. What happens when a strawberry gets run over while crossing the street? Traffic jam.
47. I opened a detective agency just for missing socks. Business is booming — it’s an unsolved mystery.
48. I tried to take a picture on a foggy day. But I mist my chance.
49. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
50. How did the student feel when he learned about electricity? Totally shocked.
51. What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I’m dressing.
52. Why did the student eat his homework? Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
53. Two clouds met on a date. One said, “You make me feel lighter than air.” The other blushed and said, “Stop it, you’ll make me rain!”
54. Told my fridge a joke. Now everything inside is chilling with laughter.
55. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shaky spear.
56. What do rich people say when they tickle babies? “Gucci, Gucci, goo.”
57. Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now.
58. Why don’t anteaters ever get sick? Their antibodies keep them healthy.
59. Why are most people tired on April 1? They’ve just finished a 31-day March.
Must Read Article— Games to Play with Kids!
Knock Knock Jokes for Adults
If you think knock-knock jokes are just for kids, think again! The right punchline, the right delivery, and the right amount of mischief can turn these classics into some of the loudest laughs in the room!
These knock-knock jokes are clever, cheeky, and built for grown-up fun! So lift up your fist, strike on the door, and get ready to knock the humor out of your friends.
60. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, we brought wine.
61. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Delivery.
Delivery who?
The Delivery guy who’s been ringing your bell for five minutes while you were filming a TikTok.
62. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you! But maybe go take a COVID test, just to be safe.
63. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you know how much I love you when you actually laugh at my knock knock jokes?
64. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben waiting outside your door for ten minutes — did you mute your phone again?
65. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli.
Broccoli who?
Broccoli doesn’t knock, it steams into the room… and ruins dinner.
66. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doris.
Doris who?
Doris locked. That’s why I’m knocking!
68. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Woo.
Woo who?
Don’t get too excited—it’s just a silly knock-knock joke!
69. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tuna.
Tuna who?
Tuna piano, but can’t tuna fish… and definitely can’t tuna your mood right now, apparently.
70. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police open the door, your Amazon package is getting rained on!
71. Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome! And I’ll take my thank-you hug now.
72. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Amyss.
Amyss who?
I miss you too!
73. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Heywood.
Heywood who?
Heywood you open the door already?
74. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alice.
Alice who?
Alice fair in love and war.
75. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who?
I’m good. Hawaii you, my brother?
76. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Who?
Who who?
I didn’t know you were an owl!
77. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you doing telling jokes right now? Don’t you have important things to do?
78. Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t give me some candy!
Must Read Article— What to do when bored?
Funniest Dad Jokes Ever
It’s time to hold your laughs, you are about to enter the land of dad jokes. Here, all the puns are apologetic, the timing is questionable, but still, the giggles are absolutely guaranteed. These aren’t just any dad jokes; we have rounded up some of the best jokes of all time.
So, do you want to make your friends roll on the ground, laughing and tearing up from your jokes? Let’s get into it!
79. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
80. I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Woohoo! Go ceiling!”
81. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, we’d call them bagels.
82. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.”
83. I used to hate facial hair… But then it grew on me.
84. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
85. Want to hear a construction joke? Oh… never mind, I’m still working on it.
86. I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
87. I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a joke about time travel. He said, “Sure.” I said, “Never mind, you didn’t like it.”
88. I entered a pun contest once. Submitted ten different puns. Hoped at least one would win. But no pun in ten did.
89. The other day, my wife said she wanted to spice things up. So I sprinkled paprika all over the living room. Apparently, that’s not what she meant. Married life is full of mysteries.
90. I asked my daughter if she wanted to hear a joke about pizza. She said, “Sure.” I said, “Never mind. It’s a little cheesy.” She rolled her eyes so hard, I think they almost fell out. Parenting win.
91. My math teacher called me average. How mean.
92. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
93. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
94. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
95. I tried to start a professional hide-and-seek team. But good players are hard to find.
96. Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
97. I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job — I made every second count.
98. I used to play piano by ear. Now, I use my hands — much easier.
Must Read Article— Riddles for Kids!
Hilarious Jokes for Every Moment
If you are after jokes that can actually crack people up, not just earn a polite smile, you are in the right place! These funny jokes to tell your friends are perfect for sharing when your circle needs a crazy laugh.
No need to overthink it, just pick your favorite and roll out the giggles!
99. My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” I said, “No, it doesn’t.”
100. I told my boss three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay. Turns out, gas, electric, and water really do want me.
101. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
102. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
103. I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight.
104. Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand? A palm tree!
105. Why do ducks always pay with cash? Because they always have bills!
106. Why are basketball courts always wet? Because the players dribble.
107. I started taking yoga classes. They said it would help me find balance. So far, I’ve just found new ways to fall over.
108. Tried a new dating app for introverts. It auto-matches you with your own couch.
109. My neighbor asked if I’d help him move this weekend. I said, “Sure. I’ll move… to a different city.”
110. I asked my dog what he thought of my new haircut. He just stared, then walked away. Brutal honesty.
111. I signed up for a marathon by mistake. Guess I’m running from my problems now.
112. How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.
113. Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body amputated? He’s all right now.
114. Why do historians call the Early Middle Ages the Dark Ages? There were a lot of knights.
115. Yesterday, I couldn’t figure out whether someone was waving at me or the person behind me. In other news, I lost my lifeguarding job.
116. I got a smartwatch to track my steps. Now I know exactly how lazy I am, in real time.
117. I asked my smart speaker to tell me a joke. It replied, “Remember that time you were trying to find a date using me.”
118. My boss said, “Dress for the job you want.” Now I’m sitting here in a Batman suit.
Must Read Article— Secrets of Happy Couples!
Funny One Liners
Let’s be honest—sometimes, the best jokes ever are the ones that land fast and leave everyone grinning (or groaning). That’s the magic of short jokes. They are just perfect for casual hangs, text threads, or just tossing into a convo when you need to lighten up the mood.
The best part? You need to set the joke up. Just say it and watch people go bonkers!
119. Sometimes I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say, “That one looks like an idiot.”
120. My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
121. If being sarcastic burned calories, I’d be invisible.
122. I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just in a committed relationship.
123. I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope for the best.
124. “Running late” should count as cardio.
125. I’m great at multitasking — I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
126. I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome.
127. If I was a bird, I know exactly who I’d poop on first.
128. Sleep is my drug. My bed is the dealer, and the alarm clock is the police.
129. I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
130. Why do I still have trust issues? The shampoo said “repair and protect.”
131. I put my phone on airplane mode, and it didn’t even take off.
132. Common sense is like deodorant — the people who need it most never use it.
133. Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
134. I have a lot of hidden talents. Too bad I can’t find them.
135. I thought about losing weight once… but I don’t like losing.
136. Adulting is soup… and I am a fork.
137. Why do I need a six-pack when I can have a six-pack of beers?
138. If karma doesn’t hit you, I probably will.
Must Read Article— Conversation Starters for Couples!
Bad Jokes to Annoy Your Friends
Not every joke lands, and sometimes, that’s the whole point!
If you are looking for a way to get your friends rolling their eyes and dramatically walking out of the room, you need some truly silly jokes in your arsenal. The kind of jokes that are so terrible… they are actually very funny jokes.
Ready? Here’s your collection of bad jokes to strategically annoy your friends.
139. What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.
140. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
141. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way.
142. I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
143. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the “no-bell” prize.
144. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? 10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
145. A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” the bartender yells out. The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
146. A man gets hit by a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
147. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
148. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
149. RIP, boiled water. You will be mist.
150. Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke, jooooooooooooooke.
151. What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear.
152. What genre of music are national anthems? Country.
153. A woman walks into a bookstore and says, “I’d like to buy a self-help book.” The cashier says, “Do you want me to help you find one, or would that defeat the purpose?”
154. Why did the philosopher refuse to play hide and seek? Because good luck finding someone who questions their own existence while hiding behind a couch.
155. There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on a boat looking dumb. I’ve crossed it many times.
156. A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. “That’s one too many!” says the customer. The clerk replies, “It’s a freebie.”
157. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Must Read Article— Things to do when bored and stuck at home with kids!
Good Jokes to Say to Your Friends
The best jokes are the simple ones—the ones that get everyone giggling without trying too hard. All you need is good timing, a good punchline, and that’s it! Here are a bunch of actually funny jokes to share with your friends:
158. My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I’m paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I’m a bus driver!
159. I went to the doctor’s recently. He said, “Don’t eat anything fatty.”
I said: “What, like bacon and burgers?” He said, “No, Fatty, don’t eat anything.”
160. A wealthy man tells another guy, “I’ll give you $50K, but your worst enemy gets double that.” The guy smiles and says, “Cool. I’ve always wanted $150K.”
161. My dad asked me the other day: “Are you even listening to me?” Which is a really weird way to start a conversation, if you ask me.
162. People tell me I’m condescending. That means I talk down to people.
163. Never tell a pun to a kleptomaniac. They’re always taking things literally.
164. So two cows are talking in a field. The first cow says, “Hey man, you worried about this mad cow disease that is going around?” The second cow says, “I’m sure glad it doesn’t affect us helicopters.”
165. Two cows are standing in a field. First cow says, “Moo”. Second cow says, “Dang it. I was just about to say that.”
166. A wife calls her husband and says “be careful driving home, some complete moron is driving down the wrong side of the motorway.”
167. The husband replies, “There’s not just one, there’s bloody hundreds of them!”
168. The Lord said unto John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But alas, John came fifth, so he won the toaster.
169. Why did the half blind man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
170. My best friend was involved in a tragic accident this weekend. He got his finger stuck in a wedding ring.
171. Two men are on opposite sides of a river. The first man shouts to the second, “How do I get to the other side of the river?”
The second man shouts back, “You are on the other side of the river!”
172. Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they’d still be in the boat.
173. The Buddha goes to buy a hot dog and pays with a $20 bill. The vendor hands him his hot dog and goes to help the next customer. The Buddha says, “What about my change?” and the vendor replies, “Change must come from within.”
174. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock…
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
175. What’s blue and isn’t very heavy? Light blue
176. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
177. I had a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle. So I covered it with steel, but it steel wooden whistle!
Must Read Article— 10 Ways to find happiness in every situation!
Funny Cheesy Jokes
Call them classic or call them cringey, cheesy jokes have a charm of their own! They don’t need to be clever or cool… just unapologetically silly. And honestly? That’s what makes them kind of perfect.
So if you’re in the mood for something light, ridiculous, and full of cheese… you’re in the right place.
178. Who needs a six-pack when you’ve got snacks and self-acceptance?
179. Why chase your dreams when they clearly don’t want to be caught?
180. What do you need to cook an alligator? A croc-pot.
181. What’s the bad thing about birthdays? Too many of them will kill you.
182. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
183. Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course. Houses can’t jump.
184. Why did the nurse carry a red pen with her? In case she had to draw some blood.
185. What’s the best way to burn 1,000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.
186. Can February March? No, but April May.
187. Why couldn’t the tree get on his computer? He couldn’t log on.
188. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
189. What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide.
190. What kind of shoes do robbers wear? Sneakers.
191. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
192. Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
193. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
194. What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap music.
195. How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
196. Did you hear about the skeleton beauty contest? No body won.
197. Why should you avoid talking to trees? They can be a little shady sometimes.
Pin For Later!
