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12 Sneaky Divorce Tactics and how to combat them!

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Sneaky divorce tactics

Are you on the verge of separating from your lifelong partner? Is divorce the only option left? Well, in that case, you don’t know what sneaky divorce tactics you may have to face!

From hiding their real income and assets, and making false allegations to intentionally delaying or rushing things, your partner can stoop very low to get the upper hand in this worse situation.

Trust me, if you’re assuming you will peacefully get out of your ruined relationship, you’re underestimating things!

In this article, we’ll let you in on the world of sneaky divorce tactics and help you get out of this mess the right way! Coming right up—

  • 12 Sneaky Divorce Tactics!
  • What can be used against you in a divorce?
  • What not to say in divorce court?
  • How to win a divorce?

Let’s get started!

Related Article: The Relationship Audit—12 Questions!

12 Sneaky Divorce Tactics and how to combat them!

Love and hate might seem like they’re worlds apart, but when it comes to divorce, they can get pretty close!

When a marriage comes to an end, it’s not just about signing papers. Divorce can make people feel all sorts of intensified emotions (like rage or resentment) and may even lead them to act selfishly.

This includes trying to get back at each other, playing dirty, and doing things behind the scenes that you might not even see coming.

It’s a reality check that divorce isn’t just about splitting from a partner—it can mess with your finances, your family life, and even how you feel in your heart and mind.

Even if you’re thinking, “No way my soon-to-be ex would do those things,” it’s important to be cautious and protect yourself and your loved ones. Divorce can bring out a side of people you might not have seen before! 

So, here are 12 nasty divorce tactics your ex-spouse may use against you:

1. Intentionally delaying divorce proceedings

Divorce can be really tough on both your heart and your wallet. If you’ve got a divorce lawyer on your side to stand up for what’s rightfully yours, those legal bills can start to pile up faster than you’d expect!

Moreover, your soon-to-be-ex-spouse might have some divorce delay tactics up their sleeve to stretch out the whole process. They know how to drag out divorce proceedings, and they’re successfully doing so.

Why? Well, they’re hoping that the growing money stress will make you give in. Here are a few delaying divorce tactics they might use:

a.  They flat-out say “no” when it’s time to sign on important papers. Even if your offer seems reasonable, they might just keep turning it down.

b.  They make talking and negotiating take forever, like the Johnny Depp/Amber case. Ex delaying giving stuff back is something many partners get affected by!

c.  Some people just want to take every little disagreement to court, like they’re enjoying the drama.

Nasty divorce tactics

How long can a spouse drag out a divorce?

Legally, there’s no set limit on how long a spouse can drag out a divorce. It really depends on things like how busy the courts are, how much stuff you need to figure out, and if both people can agree.

Some divorces can be finished in a few months, while others might take a year or even more!

Related Article: 10 common marriage reconciliation mistakes to avoid!

2. Hiding their wealth

When a marriage ends, both partners have to reveal info about how much money they make and what valuable things they own, like bank accounts, houses, jewelry, and investments!
However, some spouses make dirty monetary moves when they want a divorce.

Before the conversation of splitting up even pops out, they might start collecting more money and hiding it in an offshore account. Moreover, they can send it to any family member or a close relative you don’t know about.

More dirty divorce tricks include purchasing expensive items or real estate in someone else’s name. This way, things can be kept hidden, and they can get away with more possessions in their hand!

How to deal with financial fraud by your spouse?

If you know that your partner is keeping his monetary value a secret during your divorce, there are steps you can take.

One option is to ask for a court hearing to address the matter. Your divorce lawyer can assist with this process. If things proceed to a hearing, a financial expert known as a forensic accountant can be brought in.

This expert will dig into the financial details, trying to uncover any hidden assets or unusual money movements.

They’ll look at bank statements, transactions, and the value of assets like properties, investments, and valuable possessions. Their job is to make sure everything is clear and above board.

This way, you can disclose your partner’s brutal divorce tactics related to money management.

3. Making false accusations

One of the worst divorce strategies is making shallow allegations about your partner or lying on divorce papers to win over the court!

Many divorce lawyers have revealed that toxic partners make up false stories about each other to get the upper hand. They might even rant about untrue scenarios just to make the court feel sorry for them and make decisions in their favor.

The most common false allegations used when seeking divorce:

  • Drug addiction or alcoholism
  • Child abuse or neglect
  • Domestic violence
  • Cheating
  • Financial irresposibility
  • Reckless behavior or personality
  • Unsafe for kids

Related Article: Mindset of a Cheating Man! 

How to drag out divorce proceedings

How to protect yourself from a vindictive ex?

In a situation where you’re constantly blamed for countless allegations like this, you may get fired up inside. Perhaps, that’s what your spouse wants—to portray you like a crazy person, which proves their lies right.

If your partner says untrue things about you, don’t get angry or yell around in the court. This could easily make things worse.

The best way to fight lies is with the truth. Be honest with your lawyer about your situation so they can handle the court hearing with facts and patience.

4. Distancing children from you

When a divorce involves children, the harsh truth is that they can become pawns in the situation! 

Your spouse might start saying hurtful things about you to your kids. They might even go so far as to tell the children that you don’t love them anymore, all with the intention of turning them against you.

For instance, they could say things like, “Mom/Dad doesn’t care about us anymore” or “They’re the ones who left our family.”

These sneaky divorce tactics are meant to shape your children’s feelings and opinions, potentially swaying their choice of who to live with. It’s a tricky situation, as older children might be influenced by these statements, even if they aren’t entirely true.

This kind of manipulation can have a significant impact, especially when it comes to deciding custody arrangements.

What can you do to avoid parental alienation?

The most crucial thing to do with your kids during divorce is to be your normal self. Spend time with your kids, just like you did before. Show them you still care about them.

Try not to say mean things about your ex-spouse in front of your kids. It can make them feel bad. You should acknowledge that it takes time for kids to adjust to what’s happening. Be patient and let them figure it out!

Related Article: Worst age to lose a parent!

5. Intimidating you financially

If your spouse is the one who brings in money to run the household, they might begin squeezing your family’s monthly budget to make things harder for you!

Difficulty in managing household expenses may leave you struggling even before the divorce officially starts.

In case your spouse tries this sneaky move, talk to your lawyer right away! This shameless tactic is to pressure you into agreeing on something unfair by making you feel financially weak.

However, your lawyer can tell you what you’re allowed to do and help you gather proof that your partner is being tricky. The good thing is that courts don’t like these kinds of sneaky divorce tactics, so your partner’s plan might not work out the way they hoped.

6. Refusing to communicate effectively

Brutal divorce tactics

While going through a divorce, there are important meetings that you, your spouse, and your lawyers need to be part of. These meetings help sort out important details and push your case forward!

But what if your spouse refuses to negotiate divorce? They can slow things down on purpose by not answering your messages or emails. Or they might say they’re too busy to come to meetings. 

If you’re dealing with such a situation, it’s a good idea to:

a.  Keep Records: Save any messages or emails where your spouse avoids responding or claims they’re busy.

b.  Let your lawyer be aware: Instead of being ashamed of your partner’s actions, be open about them with your lawyer. Let them read your conversations so they can guide you on what to do next and how to handle it.

Even if your spouse is causing delays, try to stay patient. Eventually, the court might notice their behavior and take it into account.

Your spouse’s choice not to cooperate can backfire pretty quickly! If they don’t show up, they might not get their fair share of things like money, support, seeing the kids, or deciding where they’ll live.

So, in the end, not cooperating might be the worst idea for them!

Related Article: Types of breakups that get back together! 

7. Pushing for a quick settlement

On the other hand, your spouse can also try to push for a lightning settlement. This is one of the sneaky divorce tactics many people use to snatch the bigger end of the stick!

Why is my husband rushing divorce?

Also known as the “artificial rush,” this trick is especially played when you don’t have a lawyer by your side.

Being alone, you can be easily rushed to get things done quickly, even though there’s no real reason for the hurry. Your husband may have hidden assets or valuable things he doesn’t want you to be aware of.

So, to keep these things safe, he tries to rush the divorce process. He wants to get everything done quickly, without giving you a chance to understand what you’re entitled to.

This way, you may agree without looking too closely at the details of what’s being offered to you!

How to defend against the divorce rush?

If your partner hands you the divorce petition and settlement proposal in the same week, it’s a clear sign they are rushing things!

However, this simple line can easily save you: “I will have to discuss this with my lawyer first; please hold your horses.”

Remember, taking the time to consult with a legal expert can make a huge difference. So, no matter how urgent things might seem, don’t let anyone push you into hasty decisions.

Your well-being and future deserve careful consideration!

Related Article: My husband yells at me!

8. Avoiding to pay child support

One of the most common sneaky divorce tactics includes finding ways to avoid paying child support or alimony!

Don’t be surprised if I tell you—most women DON’T receive child support or alimony even after it is ordered by the court. Your ex-spouse may excuse this with reasons like inability to pay, delay in salaries, or they may even shamelessly refuse to pay.

More unethical divorce tactics for not paying child support:

a.  Quitting job: In many states, the money for child support and alimony is decided based on how much someone earns. So, your partner may quit their job just to show they don’t have any source of money to pay!

b.  Increasing parenting time: Another tactic is spending more time with the children as they usually do. As per the court, if a child spends extra time with their non-custodial parent, the amount for alimony can be recalculated and reduced.

No matter the tricks used, the bottom line is that your spouse is trying to avoid their financial obligations!

How to get alimony from your ex-spouse?

If your ex-husband is not paying child support or alimony, don’t let him off the hook! The best thing you can do is bring him back to court.

In case your ex-partner is found guilty, the court can give him a warning, and he might have to pay a fine or, in serious cases, even end up behind bars.

What’s more? The court can actually tell his employer to take money directly from his paycheck for spousal support. This is called wage garnishment, and it’s a pretty solid way to make sure you get the support you’re supposed to.

If he owes you money from before, you can ask the court to make him pay it back. Sometimes, the court might even tell him to pay extra money as interest on the overdue amount!

The truth is that your husband might be holding on to the fact that you won’t want to deal with the hassle of going back to court. After all, it takes time, money, and energy – stuff you might not have in abundance.

But if you truly need support to raise your children better, make sure to do the extra court visits!

9. Denying access to shared resources

Here’s a sneaky move that some spouses try during a divorce: They might keep you from getting important monetary information or resources!

Why? Well, they’re hoping that without these details, you won’t be able to fight for a fair divorce deal. They may also keep you away from stuff like financial records or other important papers.

What kind of info and resources are we talking about?
Well, it could be things like bank account statements that you both share, credit card statements, documents for properties you own, tax records, or even papers for your mortgage.

If your spouse is giving you the silent treatment when it comes to financial records, you can ask the court for help.

You will be surprised that it’s actually easier to issue a court order for this rather than dealing with your partner. All you need to do is prepare a list of shared documents you need and take it to the court!

10. Moving out of the States with the kids

This might be one of the least-used sneaky divorce tactics, but what if it happens to you?

Whether you believe it or not, your spouse can think about taking the kids and moving to a different state. Why? Maybe they are trying to keep the kids away from you or switching to a court where the divorce rules in their favor!

If this happens, they might show the court that the new state has great schools or awesome opportunities for your child. It could be even worse if they already have a great job offer in the new place!

In cases like this, if your child is already living there for a “good reason,” you might end up with less say in custody. It’s all about what’s best for the child.

On the flip side, if your partner did this on a whim, without talking to the court first, it will backfire on them!

Let’s say there was already an agreement about who gets custody of the kids. In this situation, your lawyer can take action. They can file something called a “motion” to show that your ex is not following the rules, and the court will tell your ex to bring the child back to you.

Related Article: Secrets of Happy Couples!

11. Turning your loved ones against you

One of the worst divorce attorney tactics your partner may use is turning people from your close circle against you!

Divorces can get messy, and sometimes, one partner may resort to playing emotional games. They could twist things around about your divorce and make your friends and family turn away from you.

As a result, when you can’t count on your usual support from people you care about, going through a divorce can feel pretty lonesome and stressful. Clearly, your sneaky spouse is aiming right where it hurts, hoping to make you feel weak and alone.

When you’re feeling down, they might get a little more power over you. And this could mess up your thinking and actions —that’s what they’re counting on.

How to protect yourself from a vindictive ex?

No matter how lonely you feel, all you need is a trustworthy lawyer on your side. Don’t let your spouse’s tactics trigger a strong emotional reaction from you. Keep your composure and focus on the bigger picture!

If possible, document instances where your ex is spreading false information. This might be helpful if you need to address the issue legally.

At last, communicate with your loved ones openly. No matter how much you are defamed, your close people know you better than anyone. Their trust in you will likely prevail in the long run!

12. Making it impossible for you to find a good lawyer

When you sit down with a lawyer and talk about your case, there’s something called “attorney-client privilege” that kicks in!

This basically means they can’t spill the beans to your soon-to-be ex-spouse. They can’t chat with them, help them out, or even represent them—not even if they wanted to.

Now, imagine your spouse talks to a bunch of top-notch lawyers in town and goes deep into the case details before you even find one.

What’s the trick in it? They are discussing the case not because they’re hiring them. It’s just to lock these lawyers down so you can’t use them for yourself.

The best way to avoid this is by looking into potential attorneys right after the divorce discussion is brought up!

Related Article: Best parenting quotes to inspire furious parents!

What can be used against you in a divorce?

Just so you know, your annoyed ex might try just anything in divorce court! Here’s the lowdown on a few things you definitely want to avoid, because they could seriously tank your case in front of the judge:

Overspending When You’re Apart

You know those times when you’re separated and you start living it up with extravagant spending? You’re just so happy to be away from your toxic ex that you begin wasting a lot of money!

Well, as much fun as that might sound, it’s not going to impress the judge. It might just make them wonder if you’re being irresponsible about things.

Stretching the Truth About Money

It’s tempting to fudge the numbers a bit, maybe make it seem like you’re earning less or that your assets aren’t as hefty as they actually are.

But here’s the deal: the truth has a sneaky way of coming out in court, and when it does, it’s not going to make you look great.

Getting All Restraining Order-Happy

If you’re tossing around restraining orders left and right, it could give the impression that you’re using them as a weapon rather than a legitimate means of protection.

Judges can see through that, and it might not work out in your favor!

Social Media Slip-Ups

We all love our social media profiles, but when you’re in the midst of a divorce, it’s probably a good time to think twice before posting!

Anything that makes you look irresponsible, insensitive, or just plain questionable might end up hurting your case more than you realize.

Written Proof of Incriminating Stuff

Texts, emails, and messages might feel like just words, but they can carry a lot of weight in court. If you’ve been saying things that cast you in a negative light, you might as well be handing your ex some prime ammunition.

Messy Romantic Entanglements

New romances are great, but if your new flame is causing chaos for your kids or causing disruptions, it’s going to raise some serious eyebrows. The judge is looking out for the well-being of the children, so any negative impact from your love life may worsen your case.

So, try to steer clear of these moves if you want to stand a chance in court.

It’s all about presenting yourself in the best possible light and showing that you’re responsible, level-headed, and looking out for the best interests of everyone involved!

What not to say in divorce court?

Trust me, a court might be the only place where you should make your every single move after careful examination!

This includes how you behave and what you speak in front of the judge. If you wish to be on the greener side of your case, there are some secrets you must know (aka what not to say in divorce court?):

​​a.  Trash-Talking Your Ex: I get it, you might not be on the best terms, but badmouthing your ex in front of the judge is a one-way ticket to looking childish and uncooperative.

Keep the negative comments in check and focus on the facts.

b.  Spilling Too Much Personal Info: Divorce court isn’t a therapy session. Going into all the nitty-gritty details of your serious relationship might make you seem emotional and unable to separate personal issues from the legal matters at hand.

c.  Blowing Up About Money: Yeah, money is a big part of divorces, but going off on a rant about how your ex was a penny-pincher or a spender won’t win you any points. Stick to discussing financial matters in a clear and calm way.

d.  Getting Super Defensive: It’s normal to want to defend yourself, but if you’re constantly interrupting or arguing with the other side, you’ll just look like you’re not open to compromise or cooperation.

e.  Overpromising Custody Arrangements: If you start making grand claims about how you’ll be the best parent and provide everything, the judge might think you’re not being realistic.

Be honest about your intentions and abilities when it comes to childcare!

f.  Being a Drama Queen/King: Emotional outbursts, tears, and dramatic speeches might work well in the movies. But in court, they can make you appear unstable and not in control of your emotions.

g.  Playing the Blame Game: Pointing fingers and assigning blame for the whole marriage breakdown doesn’t help anyone!

Divorce court is more concerned with practical issues like division of assets and child custody, so focus on those.

i.  Disregarding the Judge’s Authority: Disrespecting the judge, arguing against their decisions, or showing a lack of cooperation can immediately backfire.

Remember, they’re the ones calling the shots here.

j.  Sharing Intimate Details: We’re talking about court, not a tell-all memoir. Sharing intimate or embarrassing details about your ex might make you seem petty and like you’re trying to humiliate them.

Remember, the goal is to present yourself as mature, reasonable, and capable of handling the situation in a civil manner!

Stick to the facts, stay composed, and keep the emotions in check. Your words and behavior in the courtroom can play a big role in how the judge perceives you and ultimately decides on the outcome.

Related Article: The best 20 bonding activities for married couples!

How to win a divorce case?

Dirty divorce tricks

How to screw over your husband in a divorce? Winning a divorce generally requires two important things—an extremely smart lawyer and planned-out strategic steps.

Being adequately prepared can significantly impact the outcome of your divorce case!

Follow this three-step plan to navigate the process effectively and increase your chances of a favorable outcome:

Step 1: Strategy and Preparation

The first step to successfully win a divorce case is pre-trial preparation!

a.  Choose a Competent Attorney: Start by finding an experienced divorce attorney. They’ll guide you through the legal complexities, provide advice, and represent your interests effectively.

b.  Gather Strong Evidence: Collect all relevant documents, such as financial records, communication history, and custody arrangements. This evidence will support your claims during the proceedings.

c.  Set Clear Goals: Determine your priorities for asset division, alimony, child custody, and support. Having a clear understanding of what you want will help you strategize effectively.

Step 2: Courtroom Etiquette and Presentation

Remember, a judge notices everything about you when present in the court hearing! So, the next step is all about how you present yourself.

a.  Maintain Composure: Keep your emotions in check during court proceedings. Remaining calm and composed demonstrates your maturity and ability to handle the situation.

b.  Focus on Facts: Present your case based on facts, not emotions. Stick to the key issues and avoid unnecessary personal details that could sidetrack the case.

c.  Honesty is Key: Always be truthful in court. Credibility is crucial, and honesty will strengthen your position with the judge.

Step 3: Collaboration and Negotiation

Lastly, your ability to negotiate and come to equal terms with your partner matters the most!

a.  Open to Compromise: Display willingness to negotiate with your ex-spouse. Being open to compromises can help you reach a resolution that benefits both parties.

b.  Child-Centric Approach: If children are involved, prioritize their well-being. Present yourself as a responsible parent focused on their best interests.

c.  Maintain Professionalism: Interact professionally with your ex-spouse, their attorney, and court officials. A respectful attitude can reflect positively on your case.

Remember, the goal isn’t necessarily about “winning” in the traditional sense. It’s about achieving a fair and practical outcome that allows you to move forward with your life.

By carefully planning your approach, presenting yourself effectively, and being open to cooperation, you’re increasing your chances of a successful outcome in your divorce case!

Bottom Line

When it comes to divorce, knowing about the above-mentioned sneaky divorce tactics can be a big help!

Being aware of these dirty moves can give you a better shot at protecting yourself and what’s important to you. Just keep your eyes open, stay informed, and work with the experts who know the ropes.

With the right attitude and approach, you’ll be ready to deal with all the twists and turns of divorce and aim for a fair deal.

Stay smart, stay strong, and keep looking forward as you move through this chapter of your life!

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