Dating A Married Man: 27 Things You Should Know
Dating a married man is like driving a stranger’s handsome car, which will never be yours!
In simpler words, dating a married man is very complicated, risky, and one of the most frowned upon activities in our society. Besides facing social-emotional stress, there’s a significant risk of being and feeling like a second option for the rest of your life.
The bonding and connection may feel amazing initially and adds little fun to your regular life. However, things quickly take an uneasy and doubtful turn when you start looking for something serious.
Anything can make you attracted or fall in love with a married man—a coffee date, casual conversations, his deep voice and decisive actions, or, in fact, a simple act of kindness. If you are ready to take this all just for fun, it’s good for both of you. But gradually, things become complicated when you start to catch some real feelings for a married man.
Dating a Married Man—27 Things You Should Know
The most challenging fact to digest in a married man affair is that he has his primary life, so you will always be secondary in his life, which might hurt your emotions in the long run.
Things will never be easy when dating a married man, and it’s a very sensitive factor at the personal and social level to handle.
Furthermore, society looks down on you as an ill-fated woman who is ruining someone’s marriage. After all, it’s not easy to be accepted by society, but also not necessary to make everyone understand your choices.
If you are into a man and have an inseparable bond with him or are looking to work out with your married date, you need to know some things before dating a married man.
1. Is it okay to date a married man?
No, it’s not. Ruining someone’s marriage for the sake of our feelings is not okay or justifiable. Dating a married man is a big question to societal norms, as marriage is a commitment to a lifetime of honesty and fidelity. And if you get a man into breaking those commitments for you, it will seize up both the parties.
Having an affair with a married man will make you sad and anxious after some time; it’s common sense that if a man can turn down his marriage for you, he can also cut you off for another woman.
Such relationships are treacherous; they make you happy for the short term but can give you unbearable traumas for a lifetime. In short, dating a married man is like admiring a flower that belongs to someone else’s garden.
2. He will leave you with waiting eyes
It is natural for humans to keep going on in different relationships and expect the best in all of them. We all desire cute morning texts, coffee dates, night outs, and fun trips together in regular relationships.
However, if things get entangled with a married man, you need to accept that he can’t spend time with you according to your moods. He will be available for you when his wife is not around or when he gets a chance to engage with you. You will always be waiting to spend time with him and even for his texts or calls!
3. Make him stand on the brink of losing you
If you decide to date a married man, try not to be that easy option for him. Usually, men seem to value a woman who isn’t easygoing and holds a strong backbone of impressive qualities.
It’s good to have high standards if you want to make him want you more every time. Never be his easy catch, and make him realize his one mistake can make him lose you!
4. Never trespass his personal space
There are many precautions you have to take when dating a married man, and the most important one is to maintain space between you two. Talking to a married man everyday or being too available to him can be problematic.
If you are interested in him, you don’t have to show up every time or stress him with your presence where people might get doubtful. Never visit his office or home unannounced at any time—don’t be confused between possession and care.
If you get obsessed with meeting him every time or anywhere and calling him always, it will make you less important to him. Moreover, it may become problematic for him to date you, leading to a breakup eventually.
Be careful of every move you make when dating a married man!
5. Such relationships can give you unhealed traumas for life
Getting into a relationship with a married man is like setting a bomb’s countdown and waiting for it to blow up. The fear of being exposed will always scare you both and not allow you to live your moments to the fullest.
Dating a married man will also not give you any scope of settling down in the future. So there’s always going to be a rush with this man, and he may put you on temporary check-ins regularly.
The worst part is you won’t be able to fight against any of this and will have to accept the little pleasures with open arms. If you even think about craving the efforts a woman gets in a normal relationship, this whole thing will start eating you inside and can give you a lot of unhealable traumas!
6. You will always be doubtful about his feelings
Trust is the most crucial pillar of any relationship, and when you are dating a man who already has a wife, faith automatically flows out of the relationship. If he can cheat on his wife to be with you, he can indeed cheat on you to be with another woman.
This makes one thing certain—you will have a lot of doubtful thoughts regarding him and won’t be able to trust him entirely because deep down, you know he has already lied to one woman.
Even the most beautiful efforts from him will feel meaningless and void because you know his wife might be receiving the same efforts and love. The more he will do for you, the lesser you will feel it thinking about everything he does for his wife.
7. He may never prioritize you
In any circumstances where he has to choose between you and his wife and children, he will always choose his family. While this is the most sensible thing for him to do, it might hurt your self-respect and love.
A married man is legally bound to his wife, and she will always be his top priority. Besides just being his wife, this woman is also a mother to his children. So even if he loses feelings for his wife, he may never ever be able to let go of his children for anyone in the entire world.
Even when you need him the most, he won’t be able to offer you his whole time because you are a secret that he will always try to hide from his partner. You will never be his first priority!
8. You may possibly hurt his children
A relationship with a married man is convoluted; it’s going to hurt you, his wife and children, and even him. If the married man you’re dating is a father, this relationship will put down his children.
It will make him distracted and irregular from pampering his children. Continuing this relationship will consistently make it challenging for him to love his children or spend quality time with them.
9. Ask yourself, are you doing this for fun?
Irrespective of how much you love this man, you must know that he is not going to be yours completely, and your love will always be secondary to him.
Let’s say you choose to continue this relationship because of the fact he is married, and this secrecy brings you some thrills from ups and downs. You believe it would be fun to date a married man, as it’s an entirely different experience.
But remember, when you are enjoying his wife-escape with you and loving him secretly, you are hurting someone. Perhaps, the thrill you get after every secret date and all these hidden memories will only make you want him more.
Sooner or later, this relationship will not only hurt his wife but all those who are connected with him!
10. Extramarital affairs are illegal
Although there won’t be any legal case against you, a relationship with a married man is considered illegal. If his wife gets to know about you both, it may break his marriage and make him lose his collateral.
In extreme cases, if his wife chooses to file a case against your relationship, he may have to pay substantial financial security to her while also losing his children. Moving forward, people around you will start disrespecting and saying mean things to you because you made a precious marriage end.
You will simply be causing a lot of pain to various people when dating a married man!
11. This man is not involved with you wholeheartedly
When you begin a romantic relationship with someone, you expect them to give their best and consistently put effort into improving the connection. But when you start dating a married man, you must remember there is nothing like best or consistent in this relationship!
This means that his only official relationship would be with his wife, and he will keep you a secret for a lifetime. And in many cases, secret relationships are taken for granted and just fulfill temporary fun.
If you’re okay with secrecy and temporary fun, you should continue dating a married man without any hopes of being wholeheartedly loved.
12. Be careful about his framed marriage problems
When he talks about his marriage issues, things might not be as bad as he portrays them. He may be framing problematic stuff about his married life to gain extra attention and sympathy from you.
I would suggest analyzing his whole problem before jumping to conclusions. Reacting to one side of the story is dangerous; before sympathizing, try to figure out things clearly. It will be good.
If he is complaining about his wife and married life, chances are he is only using you to comfort him from his problems.
13. Expecting anything from a married man is disappointing
It isn’t very reassuring to expect anything from a married man. Your heart might be advising you that if you love him honestly, and you will think he will divorce his wife, but things don’t always go the way you plan them.
Don’t expect anything from a married man; he will break your heart.
14. It’s better to keep this relationship confidential
As I mentioned above, dating a married man is risky, and you don’t know where it might take you. Will the relationship be successful or not? Is he going to love you for the rest of his life, or will he ditch you after his needs are satisfied?
When you are unsure about his intentions, you should not discuss this relationship with everyone. If a man keeps a secret relationship with you, he is probably trying to hide what you two have!
You should be clear about the type of relationship you will have with him. If he is interested in exploring with closed mouths, it’s good for you not to speak about it. Things between you should be confidential and hidden unless both are ready to go public with it.
15. At any point, you might have to discontinue the relationship; train your heart accordingly
It’s a human tendency to get attached, but you have to train your heart not to fall too deep. A married man can get tired of an affair at any point and may decide to give up.
This sudden separation from him might break your heart. In fact, this is one of the dangers of dating a married man.
So you have to prepare yourself not to get too serious. You must learn to live with the fact that he can get away from you anytime, and this will help you suffer less.
How to train your mind and heart to separate from a married man?
Once you have decided to end dating a married man, you should not rethink your decision. It is better to be distant from a relationship that gives you complexities and sadness.
You deserve a much better life and love, where you’re embraced, explored, appreciated and loved. If you cannot process your decision, let me help you make this separation easier with these simple tips.
16. Check on reality and try to accept it
Acceptance is the first step to resolving any issue. When we do not lean on denial and learn to accept reality, things become easy to tackle.
You know very well that dating someone’s husband will never be a good choice. Even if you’re madly in love with him, trying to date a married man will only bring sorrows and difficulties.
It can ruin many great things in your life, so it is better to step out of an imaginary love bubble and accept reality. You can observe how things have gone in your life ever since you entered this relationship.
You never lied this much before. Moreover, you are compensating your needs and wants as per his availability. Ask yourself—how is this relationship serving you any happiness and growth? I think you got your answer.
It is never too late to accept the situation, handle your pain and move on rather than holding on to someone who barely cares about you.
17. Have confidence in yourself
Most women fail to love themselves enough and choose to enter into a relationship with a married man simply because they believe this is what they can get. They keep on admiring the thoughts of being in love when they aren’t even sure whether they are actually in love with a man or not.
When you don’t try to step out of the box, you have to settle. You accept the little love some cheating man offers you. Let me tell you—you are a strong, beautiful woman who deserves way more than this! You should set high standards for yourself when it comes down to the love of your life.
Parting ways from a married man will offer you an opportunity to be someone’s top preference, not an option. What a married man offers you for the sake of love is not enough; stop believing his caged love.
You deserve to be the only woman in a man’s life!
18. Learn to walk with change
The best way to walk with change is to distance yourself from people who keep reminding you of your sufferings. That is why you have to learn how to distance yourself from a married man you are in love with.
Remove yourself from places which remind you of him, and don’t visit that workplace if you both labored together. Try to find a new job and create a new life for yourself far away from him.
When you choose growth and build new things for yourself, you have to make sure your circle should cherish you and not try to bring you back to what you were. Cut off from such people!
Change is necessary to keep moving in life; if you hold on to that one man, you are stopping yourself from exploring endless romantic possibilities.
19. Stop wooing a married man
Men get more connected when they feel free to open up about their sexual desires. Wooing a man can make him stick around a little longer, but sadly, not forever.
Is temporary affection what you want? Are you ready to be an option for him? Do you want to risk lovely future experiences just to entertain this man? Wooing a married man can temporarily make him want you more, but there is a high probability he will end up choosing his wife only.
Wooing a married man will leave you clueless and compelled, and you should remind yourself that you deserve a lot more than fantasizing about someone’s husband.
20. Declutter your life
The best way to declutter your life is to plan your time and values. What do you want to be in the next 1 or 2 years? This question will make you stop wasting your energy on one that isn’t worth your time.
Here I’m listing some ways to declutter your life:
- Plan your next two years.
- Set goals.
- Organize yourself well.
- Throw off outdated stuff in your desk or wardrobe.
- Learn to be happy in your originality.
21. It’s healthy to leave his text answered
When this relationship doesn’t serve you positively, and you have decided not to tolerate it anymore, be courageous enough to end this relationship and explain it to your partner.
Stepping down also means the end of attention, love, care and communication. Stop meeting him and responding to his texts. Create a positive and healthy life for yourself, and get surrounded with people who welcome you wholeheartedly without lying.
22. Keep your hazy hopes down
It is hard to be a second option for a man and share his attention and love with someone you hardly know. But what’s worse is him not giving attention to your important emotions, and you keep waiting for him to start taking you seriously.
It is better to be alone and improve your self-worth than to keep hopes from a married man—that’s not working out in your favor. If your boyfriend always fills your eyes with hopes and disappoints you, it is time for you to say a final goodbye to this man and your hazy hopes.
It’s always good to articulate your emotions. Sometimes not raising concerns about how you feel regarding his on and off may allow him to treat you discourteously.
23. Listen to songs that speak for you
Music is one of the finest ways to boost your instincts, and deep-meaning lyrics can make people move mountains. I would suggest choosing a playlist that brings out your old tentative smile and unfolds the new version of you.
When nothing helps, music can give you the chance to be thrilling on the edge of adulthood. It’s never too late to bring back your inner child again, and music is the best route.
The prime way to rediscover yourself is to plan a get-together with friends to bring back the vibes you lost amidst these relationship problems.
24. Dissipate your social anxieties
When you start taking people’s opinions on you so seriously, you get trapped in a world where you are scared of making every move. Don’t worry; others will judge you in both the cases—when dating a married man and even when leaving a married man.
You have to listen to your own heart & mind to make wise decisions. However, if you experience social anxieties that blur your vision, here are some points to get rid of them:
- Don’t take the blame for everything.
- Try therapies, and talk to psychologists.
- Try to control negative thoughts.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Love yourself a little extra; this will help you gain more confidence.
25. Learn to let go, even if it hurts
Married men are indeed more attractive than single men because of their maturity or because they have more experience in handling women.
And when you get attached to a married man, it’s pretty painful to separate from him. Well, deep down, you know he already has one woman beside him, and he can easily substitute you.
All these thoughts are hard to control, but you have to learn to let go, irrespective of how much it hurts.
26. Don’t pressure yourself to feel okay
It is prevalent to feel sad and anxious after separation or a breakup. When you may feel like it’s the end of your happy life, know that these feelings are temporary, and they will pass over time.
There are mixed emotions of confusion, anxiety, and envy, making it difficult for us to cope with our daily routine.
You might also not be able to perform well at your workplace, so don’t put pressure on yourself. It’s okay to allow this pain and suffering to flow unless you feel yourself again!
27. Take time to mourn, but never let him in again
It is pretty exemplary to have your personal space, isolate yourself for recovery, and spend more time working on yourself! There is no fixed period for healing, so don’t force yourself. You should be free to analyze your heart for as long as it takes until things get better for you.
There are days when you may feel like you are over a married man. Although when you see him happy with his family, you might regret leaving him, and this is very common human nature.
Maybe when he sees you happy, he may call you or leave a text to meet you. Remember all those traumas and anxieties you went through, and recall all your pain before answering his call.
Leaving all this aside, you have to focus on your journey and when you start entering a world of happiness and positivity, never let him in; I repeat, never let him in!
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