5 Signs The No Contact Rule Is Working
Breakups happen to the best of us, and sometimes, they hit us hard. If you’ve been through a really tough split, you could have decided to establish the “no contact rule.” And if you’re walking that challenging path, it’s necessary you know the 5 signs the no contact rule is working!
For starters, the no contact rule is like a secret weapon for healing after a breakup. It can speed up your recovery, allow you the space to deal with your feelings, or even help you get your ex back.
So, if you’re wondering, “Does no contact really work?” or “What are the 5 signs the no contact rule is working?” this article is for you! Ahead, we’ll discuss:
- What is the no contact rule?
- 5 signs the no contact rule is working!
- How long does no contact take to work?
- Stages of no contact rule.
- 5 signs the no contact rule is not working.
- FAQs
Let’s get started!
What is the No Contact Rule?
The “no contact rule” is a post-breakup strategy that you can use to process your hurt, empower self-improvement and healing, and move on with a fresh start!
It’s pretty straightforward: you stop all communication with your ex, which means no texting, no calls, no social media lurking—absolutely no contact. Moreover, you also need to break ties with their friends and family as well.
Now, what you aim to achieve with this rule depends on why you broke up and what you want in the end.
– If you’re hoping to get back together with your ex, you must follow the rule for a set period of time.
During this span, you’ll focus on understanding your feelings, thinking things through again, and working on self-improvement. You can use social media (but not too much) to show your ex that you’re committed to becoming a better version of yourself.
– But if your goal is to move on, you’ll take a different route. You’ll block your ex and maintain radio silence indefinitely. This allows you to heal, find your balance, and concentrate on your own life.
It’s easy to get caught up in trying to make your ex miss you when you’re following the No Contact Rule. But that’s not what it’s all about.
Instead, use this time as a chance to focus on self-care and recovery. Take the opportunity to grieve the end of your relationship, get your mind in a healthy place, and start thinking about what lies ahead.
The no contact rule is like a gift—it gives you the time and space to discover who you are as an individual and what you truly want from your life. It’s your path to personal growth and a brighter future!
Related Article: Types of breakups that get back together!
How to set no contact with ex in action?
Establishing the no contact rule after a breakup doesn’t work on a whim. Although this rule is often touted as a powerful tool to help individuals heal and move forward after a breakup, it’s equally challenging.
How do you actually implement this rule in your life?
Take a look at these practical steps and strategies to effectively put the no-contact rule into practice. This will allow you to navigate the post-breakup period with grace and resilience.
a. Know your why
First off, be clear about why are you doing this. Closure, a second shot at love, or just some breathing space? Knowing your future plan is like having a compass for this journey.
Begin by blocking or unfollowing your ex on social media platforms and deleting their contact information from your phone. This step helps minimize temptations and prevents accidental contact.
c. Inform close friends and family
Let your close buddies and family know about your decision to go no contact with ex!
They can provide emotional support and act as a buffer against unhelpful updates about your ex.
d. Set boundaries and draw lines
If there are unavoidable situations where you must interact with your ex (e.g., shared responsibilities or children), establish clear boundaries for communication.
Keep conversations focused on practical matters and avoid delving into personal emotions!
e. Enjoy your “ME” time
Engage in self-care activities and distractions to occupy your time and thoughts constructively. You can pursue your hobbies, exercise, and spend time with loved ones to strengthen your emotional well-being.
f. Call in the pros
What if you’re really struggling with life after no contact? In that case, it’s okay to call in a therapist or counselor. They’ve got the playbook for tricky situations like this!
g. Diary time
Lastly, set a diary time and journal every day! Reflect on your feelings, challenges, and victories, as this can be a therapeutic way to track your progress.
Pursuing these steps and implementing them in real life will set you in motion on the no-contact rule path! In some time, you will notice how significantly it affects your life and transforms the bad bits into good ones.
Related Article: How to survive tough times?
5 Signs the No Contact Rule is Working!
Ditching someone out of your life, especially if they’ve been a big part of it, is never easy!
Even if the breakup was inevitable, you can be left alone with lingering sadness and guilt. It’s like trying to pretend that a special person in your everyday existence suddenly doesn’t exist anymore.
So, if you’re taking the tough route of the no-contact rule, you need to be certain you’re on the right track. For some reassurance, keep an eye out for these 5 signs the no contact rule is working!
Sign 1. Calmer Emotional State
One of the clearest signs no contact is working is a noticeable drop in emotional restlessness.
When you first initiate the no contact rule, your emotions can be all over the place—from sadness and anger to confusion and longing. It’s like an emotional rollercoaster!
However, as the rule takes effect, you’ll start to experience a more stable emotional state over time. The intense highs and lows begin to level out. You’ll find that you’re not as constantly preoccupied with thoughts of your ex, and your overall mental well-being improves.
This calmness in your mental health signifies that you’re gradually gaining control over your feelings and starting to heal. It’s a positive step toward a healthier and happier you!
Sign 2. Your ex tries to re-enter your life
A strong indication that the no-contact rule is working in your favor is when your ex makes an effort to reconnect with you!
You might suddenly get a text, a call, or even bump into them at the grocery store. When your ex takes the initiative to reach out, it becomes clear that they are feeling the impact of your absence.
Now, why is this a good sign?
Well, your absence has them wondering what you’ve been up to and maybe even missing the good times you had. It’s like they’re starting to realize that life without you isn’t as awesome as they thought.
While this doesn’t guarantee a specific outcome, it opens the door to potential positive developments, whether that’s reconciliation, a meaningful conversation, or the closure both of you need.
This is one of the clear signs he is thinking about you during no contact.
Sign 3. Personal Growth, Confident Energy
Implementing the no-contact rule allows you to channel your energy and attention toward self-improvement and individual growth.
By sticking to this new lifestyle, you’re giving yourself the gift of time to focus on yourself. You know, all those things you’ve always wanted to do? Hobbies, self-care, and chasing your goals—they become your main gig.
As you dedicate positive energy toward your goals, you begin to experience a notable shift in your self-esteem and confidence.
When you invest in yourself like this, something pretty awesome happens. You realize that you’re pretty darn amazing on your own. You’ve got skills, passions, and dreams that you have to accomplish.
The vision of making dreams come true and doing great in life is far more important than wasting time in a toxic relationship.
So, if your mindset starts inclining toward doing what’s best for you, know that no contact works.
Sign 4. Obsession for Ex Fades Away
Is no contact effective at reducing your obsession over your ex? It definitely is!
After breaking up with your lover, it’s quite typical for your thoughts to be consumed by them. You may constantly replay sweet memories, analyze past conversations, or even dream up patching-up scenarios.
But as you stick with the no-contact rule, something unexpected happens.
– You stop romanticizing your ex, and their thoughts begin to lose their grip on you. It’s like they’re slowly but surely fading into the background.
– You’re not checking their social media profiles a hundred times a day or constantly wondering what they’re up to.
– You stop taking the no-contact rule as a “making ex miss you” tactic but rather start focusing on your life.
– Flowers, the moon, and the beauty of this world don’t make you miss your ex. Instead, you feel connected to nature and recognize your own divine energy!
This newfound mental clarity allows you to shift your focus to your own well-being, aspirations, and success. The transition from being consumed by thoughts of your ex to nurturing self-awareness gives birth to a limitless new journey.
Related Article: How to end a toxic relationship?
Sign 5. People start asking you out
Once you’ve begun prioritizing yourself, you will notice that the world starts admiring you too!
You start receiving genuine compliments, praise, and words of admiration from people around you, like friends, siblings, and strangers as well. Moreover, you may also get asked out on dates by good-looking people.
Imagine you’re at a coffee shop, a park, or even just strolling down the street. Suddenly, you notice second glances from strangers or people actually coming up to chat with you. It’s like you’ve become a magnet for positive attention.
This is the power of self-care!
When you truly start considering yourself as the special person you are, the world agrees too. So, this is one of the clear 5 signs the contact rule is working, and that you’re in great shape.
How long does no contact take to work?
When it comes to breaking up with your ex and attempting the no-contact rule, the burning question is often about timing!
You know those moments when you’re lying in bed with your ex’s memories and teary eyes, wondering when the storm will pass? The question that inevitably surfaces is, “When does no contact start working?”
The truth is, there’s no universal stopwatch for the no-contact rule. No calendar date is circled in red. It’s more like a meandering river, and where it leads is as individual as your own story.
– For some, it might take just a month or two before they even consider reaching out to an ex without feeling overwhelmed.
– For others, a couple of months might pass before they think about giving the relationship another shot.
– And then there are those who find that no contact makes them realize they’re better off without their ex, and that’s entirely valid too.
Let’s take a look at this rough timeline based on what your goals are!
If you’re trying to move on
Let’s start with the kind of breakup that stings a little less—mutual ones. If you and your ex decided to part ways by agreement, it might take you around a month or two to really find your footing again.
If it was a serious, deeply invested relationship, the kind where you shared your dreams and Netflix passwords. It could take anywhere from two to six months to handle your emotional baggage.
Now, how long for no contact to work on tough breakups, where just the thought of your ex sends shivers down your spine? Well, in these cases, it’s common for the healing process to stretch from three to eight months.
Lastly, there are those relationships that were toxic, draining, and downright harmful. The ones that left scars and nightmares. In such severe cases, healing isn’t measured in months; it can take years.
But remember, you’re not alone in this, and it’s a testament to your resilience that you’re even considering the no-contact rule.
More importantly—If you follow the no contact rule with genuine effort and self-care, the time span can drastically decrease.
If you’re open to reconnecting
Now, what if you’re wondering, “Does no contact work to get ex back?”
The possibility of rekindling the flame with your ex is a different chapter altogether, and the timeline can vary:
A Week or Two: In some cases, it might only take you a week or two to muster the courage to reach out to your ex again.
Maybe you’ve realized you miss their presence, or you want to give it another shot right away. This speedy reconnection isn’t rare, especially if the breakup was due to misunderstandings or minor issues.
A Month or Three: For others, it might take a bit more time. You might need a month or even three to figure out what you genuinely want.
Use this time for self-reflection, assessing your feelings, and considering whether restoring the relationship aligns with your goals and well-being.
The key here is not to rush the process!
Reconnecting or moving on are both significant steps, and it’s necessary to ensure you’re making the right decision for yourself. The no-contact rule isn’t just about healing; it’s also about gaining clarity!
Stages of No Contact Rule
Breakups, they say, are a storm of emotions. And if you’ve decided to walk on the journey of the no-contact rule, you’re in for a tough ride through several distinct stages.
Much like the seasons of the year, these emotional phases are a natural part of the healing process!
Stage 1: A Sense of Relief
If you were the one who triggered the breakup, you’re likely to find yourself here first! The decision to cut ties with your partner can initially bring a sense of relief.
The future may seem brighter without the emotional weight of your ex. But, only for some time. Soon enough, doubts creep in, and you start to wonder about your ex’s thoughts and actions.
Stage 2: Love Withdrawal
Whether you called it quits or your ex did, this stage is an inevitable pitstop!
You must know that deep attachments and powerful emotions take time to untangle. In the meantime, the desire to reach out to your ex can be overpowering.
Also, without distractions or preventive measures (like hobbies, self-care, or friendly outings), you might find yourself tempted to reconnect!
Stage 3: Grief strikes
As time passes and the reality of the breakup sinks in, you’ll likely experience large waves of grief.
Mood swings become the norm as you struggle with letting go of negative emotions. Biologically, your feel-good hormones hit rock bottom. However, this is an important part of the process, and it paves the way for moving forward!
Stage 4: Anger/Resolve
With grief overwhelming you, anger can often take the wheel.
Strangely enough, this anger can be a powerful motivator. It’s what gets you out of bed, fuels your determination to work on self-improvement, and even drives you to socialize.
Maybe just to spite your ex or make them jealous. But it’s even more wholesome if you go out for your own happiness.
When you realize how much time and energy you’ve invested in the relationship just to see it end, it can be a driving force for change. It’s also the stage where seeking support from trusted friends or professionals can be immensely beneficial.
Stage 5: Acceptance
As the flames of anger begin to subside, reason takes over.
You gain clarity and perspective. This is when you start to make sense of your life and plan your next steps. You become less influenced by your ex’s presence in your decisions.
It’s a phase of self-discovery and self-care, where you finally begin to let go. Even if you still harbor desires to reconcile, you approach it with a clear mind, knowing that the outcome may not align with your wishes.
Anyway, much like the changing seasons, these stages aren’t rigid or strictly linear. People progress through them at their own pace.
Embrace each stage, for it’s a vital part of your journey toward finding peace and clarity beyond the end of a relationship.
How no contact affects your ex?
For many people, there’s another reason behind having no contact rule with their ex—seeing how it affects them and how they react!
Next, we will discuss the effects of this rule and how does no contact work on your ex (from the perspectives of both genders).
Male Psychology
Once you burn down all communications with your former partner, the first thing you may wonder may be “What’s happening in my ex’s head?”
As for guys, they are pretty simple creatures. When you suddenly disappear from a guy’s life, he might initially feel relieved. “Freedom!” he thinks.
But that’s just the surface. The male brain often thrives on challenges and the thrill of pursuit. So, when the no-contact rule suddenly blocks access to their ex-partner, it triggers a natural instinct—the desire to pursue.
It’s a scenario where the chase becomes alluring, and they may find themselves fixating on the idea of winning you back!
So, in a few weeks or months, you might notice your ex trying to re-establish contact with you by texting paragraphs, calling you late at night, or even popping up at places you visit regularly.
Although, this is how males react at first. But if they don’t get an equal response from you, they can easily move on to preparing their life’s solid resolution!
Related Article: What men want in a woman?
Women Psychology
On the other hand, women react to the no-contact rule totally differently!
At first, they often experience a more profound impact from breakups. They are far more emotionally vulnerable than men, and their mental health may touch the rock button really quickly.
However, women usually confront their emotions head-on and lean on their support networks, which is why they tend to recover more swiftly.
Breakups frequently leave women with heightened negative emotions toward their ex-partners. So, they often shift their primary focus from their exes to themselves!
This phase becomes an opportune time for self-reflection, allowing them to consider their first priorities and aspirations.
As women begin to think more clearly, they can release the negative perceptions of their exes.
This newfound clarity may lead to one of two paths: either a reconsideration of the breakup with a fresh perspective or a resolute decision to move forward independently.
5 Signs the No Contact Rule is not working
The no-contact strategy is so difficult that if you’re not seeing any results, it’s a waste of time and effort! Following this rule can exhaust you both mentally and emotionally.
So look for these 5 signs the no contact rule is not working:
Sign 1. You don’t understand what “no contact” really means
The primary purpose of a “no contact rule” is to create space between you and someone you’re trying to move on from, whether it’s an ex-partner or a toxic relationship!
However, if you don’t understand what no contact means (zero communication), there’s no point in following it. For example: You may wonder, “Should I view my ex Instagram story during no contact?” No.
One of the most obvious 5 signs the no contact rule is not working is if you find yourself constantly texting, calling, or communicating with the person you’re supposed to be avoiding.
Now, I totally get what you’re probably thinking. You’re like, “But hey, I just sent one text, and it was his birthday! I even called his mom, not him!”
However, no justification can alter the rules of this strategy. This kind of repetitive behavior not only defeats the purpose of the no-contact rule but can also prolong your healing process!
Sign 2. You regret breaking up
Look, it’s totally normal to have doubts, especially when things aren’t going your way. Life and relationships can be messy, right?
However, we are not talking about just a tiny doubt about your actions.
If you constantly find yourself thinking about whether the breakup was the right choice, or if you should have started the no-contact rule or not, it’s a sign that you haven’t gained the clarity you were seeking!
Regretting your decision to move away from your ex makes the no-contact rule pointless. It’s because you will never give your 100% in improving your life for good.
You will always have feelings of confusion and regret that may lead you back to chasing your ex, which brings us to our next sign.
Sign 3. You’re still obsessed over your ex
Many people use the no-contact rule just in the hopes of getting their ex back. Well, it may help you achieve your goal, but that doesn’t give you the opportunity to obsess over your ex or the breakup!
All the time and space you get when following this rule is for your own growth and development. But guess what? You’re doing the opposite.
No friendly hangouts, no new hobbies or self-exploration, and zero spiritual growth happening here. Instead, it’s like you’re stuck in a loop, replaying your past memories and romanticizing your ex.
So if you’re just sitting with your fingers crossed, waiting for your ex to pop back into your life, it’s one of the 5 signs the no contact rule is not working!
Rather than obsessing over your toxic ex, you must find other healthy obsessions, like following a good sleep routine, improving eating habits, going on dates with friends, and just taking care of yourself.
Related Article: What is a Lithromantic—Are you one?
Sign 4. Unresolved emotions
The primary goal of the no-contact rule is to improve your mental health and let go of that emotional baggage!
After a breakup, it’s totally normal to feel like you’re riding an emotional rollercoaster. One minute you’re sad, then angry, then confused, and before you know it, you’re missing your ex like crazy. Your emotions can be all over the place!
As you continue to keep your distance from your ex and everything related to them, the emotional turmoil may decrease. Perhaps, if you’re still carrying around sadness, anger, or heartache, it could mean the healing process isn’t going as planned.
Ideally, it should help those emotions calm down, so you can think clearly and see your past relationship from a more balanced perspective.
But if you’ve been following the no-contact rule for a while and your emotions are still going wild, it’s time to take a step back. This may be one of the 5 signs the no contact rule is not working.
Sign 5. Your ex hasn’t come back
Another gentle no contact rule is to forget about your ex completely. Although you shouldn’t even wait for them, if they haven’t contacted you anyway, it could mean that the strategy isn’t working!
You see, what the no-contact rule does is give you the time and space to work on yourself. And when you get better in life, physically and mentally, you automatically become a crush magnet.
I mean, you won’t even know how many people have started crushing on you or thinking about asking you out. But your ex will surely notice!
This may make them jealous and interested in chasing you again. However, if they aren’t trying to contact you or get back into your life, it’s one of the 5 signs the no contact rule is not working.
You may not be taking your personal growth seriously and still hung up on your ex, which is why there isn’t a considerable change in you that can lure your ex back into your life!
Frequently Asked Questions
When trying this strategy out, you may get a lot of questions, like
- “Does the no contact rule work?”
- “How does no contact work?”
- “Should I break no contact?”
- “When to break no contact?”
- “Why is no contact so hard?”
Well, don’t stress out. In this section, we’ll try to deliver the very right answers to your questions! Let’s move ahead in this article: 5 signs the no contact rule is working.
Q1. Does the no contact rule work?
Speaking from personal experience, it really does! Although my motive wasn’t to get my ex back, this rule significantly improved my life after my first breakup.
Trust me, if you put a big cross over your ex and everything about them, nothing can stop you from moving on with life. It’s the memories and expectations that keep you hooked on your ex.
But getting rid of both these things can spark your life for the good! You will have better opportunities in terms of partners and success coming your way.
Q2. How does no contact work?
As mentioned in the above 5 signs the no contact rule is working, the positives of this strategy are endless!
– You will be in a better place, emotionally. All negative thoughts you have regarding yourself and your love life will vanish!
– Your individual growth will skyrocket. Excitement and happiness are two feelings that will come your way in abundance.
– You will have a new obsession—yourself. Simply enough, you will stop craving your ex’s presence or crying at the thought of relationships. Instead, working on your goals and passions will be the new deal.
– When your ex finds out you’re doing great in life, they may try to return. Even though it is your decision whether to let them in or not, I suggest you don’t.
If it was a healthy relationship, you wouldn’t have parted so easily!
– People will start asking you out. All the efforts you put in yourself will shine on the crowd’s face, and all eyes will be on you!
Q3. When to break no contact?
If you’re wondering, “Should I break no contact?” I need to ask why.
Even if your goal is to get your ex to chase you again, there’s no other better way than this. Do you think contacting them continuously or begging them to stay in your life will help?
No, it will never.
The only way to get your ex back is by making them interested in you. And they will only be attracted when there is something about you they can’t find in other people.
So, you need to work on yourself and grow so much that not only your ex, but people all around you crave to be a part of your life!
