Am I Overthinking Or Is He Losing Interest- 19 Ways To Tell
“Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?”
“I feel like I’m losing him.”
“How to tell if your boyfriend is losing interest?”
Is your man’s unequal effort towards you making you self-doubt your position in his life? Having an apprehension that you’re not worthy of him can probably be one of the worst feelings.
However, sometimes your heart presumes specific signals and gets your brain to overthink for no valid reason. That’s common for a lot of lovers out there! A single doubtful sign and our minds go berserk, excessively worrying about our relationship with a certain someone!
This is why, in today’s article, we’ll try to get rid of the confusion and help you realize an honest answer—Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?
Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?
Okay, so you met a guy, your vibes matched, and everything was going great for a while. You guys regularly went on dates, talked about future plans, and planned several romantic things to grow your connection.
However, recently, he has started acting differently and you’re not sure if he’s slipping away or you’re just overthinking it.
Whether you’ve just started dating a guy, have gone on many dates, or are already in a relationship, getting ignored by your favorite person truly sucks. At many such times, it gets challenging to figure out if you’re overthinking it or he’s losing interest in you!
Well, let’s get this straight. When we’re in love, our emotions are heightened, and we often overthink situations unnecessarily. Maybe he’s just busy and stuck on different things right now.
Undoubtedly, there can be possibilities for both. This is why it’s better to get a clear vision of things than overthink bad scenarios repeatedly. But not sure how to know if he’s really into you or not?
Take a breath, girl! In this article, you’ll get your mind and heart all sorted. You’ll understand if he is being distant or you’re overthinking it. We have also listed 19 clear signs that he’s losing interest in you.
Is he being distant or am I overthinking?
As I said, there can be possibilities for both. Maybe you’re overthinking it way too much while he’s going through something unspeakable. But how do you know “is he losing interest or am I overthinking?”
There can be misunderstandings, and to clear them out, here are some signs that he’s into you and you’re just overthinking it.
1. He apologizes.
If he apologizes after all the arguments, fights, or canceled plans, he’s trying to make up to you. Remember that if a guy is making an effort, he cares. It’s better that you appreciate his efforts instead of overthinking things.
Overthinking can kill the bond that you have with each other. If he apologizes and never lets you sleep when you’re mad, keep that person forever.
Even the most minor efforts matter. Appreciate the little things that he does even when he’s busy. It’s okay to be mad for some time but not ungrateful.
2. He reschedules.
If he cancels plans, he also tries hard to reschedule them. If you’re overthinking that he’s avoiding you, notice his efforts too. He might have canceled plans because he’s stuck somewhere.
It’s okay if he cancels outings or dates with you. But if he reschedules them to make you happy, he values you.
Don’t think way too much that he doesn’t respect you. He respects and loves you; that’s why he’s rescheduling canceled outings and ensuring you both enjoy some good quality time together.
3. There’s a connection.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. Even after all the flights and disagreements, deep down, you can feel the connection is still strong. Even when there are conflicts, he makes up with you.
This clearly shows that your love is not one-sided and you’re just overthinking it. Try to focus more on what he does for you and not what he doesn’t.
4. He pays attention to you.
Even when he’s busy, he shows that you’re important. Not just that, he makes you feel wanted, gives attention to you, and values your presence in simple ways.
For instance, he texts you when he’s busy, buys you flowers, surprises and compliments you for every tiny detail. Overthinking is never a solution but a problem to many other things.
Keep that spark in the relationship by giving each other proper love and support to make the relationship healthy and strong.
5. Your presence makes him happy.
Every time he is around you, you can notice the happiness on his face. That lovely shine has not disappeared, and that’s when you know he still cares.
Even your small efforts on calls or texts make him happy, which states that he’s into you. You’re lucky if you have a guy who smiles like a chameleon after seeing you. Stop overthinking and start enjoying the little joyful moments you spend with him!
6. He reaches out to you.
He doesn’t only reach out to you physically but also keeps contact via texts and calls. He might not be able to pay attention when he’s busy or stuck with someone, but he makes time for you later.
Remember that both individuals have separate lives; with that reality, you should not overthink things.
If he’s doing all the things mentioned above, it means you may be overthinking his actions. You’re not observing the good parts of your relationship by focusing extra on the bad bits of it.
This means you must practice gratitude and appreciate his love for you instead of over-analyzing certain circumstances!
Perhaps, there’s a chance he’s drifting away when your boyfriend seems disinterested. So, how to know if your boyfriend is losing interest? Is he not interested anymore or just busy?
These signs he’s losing interest in you will help you understand whether you’re overthinking or is he losing feelings for me?
19 clear signs he’s losing interest in you!
If lately, you’ve been noticing that he’s being too distant than usual, then it’s time to find out what’s really going on. Below are 19 signs your boyfriend is losing interest in you:
1. He barely texts or calls you.
The best way to find out if somebody’s being off the road—visit your chat history. You’ll see the difference between how your conversation feels now and how it used to feel.
The disinterest can be noticed in how he texted instantly before, but now your texts are delivered for hours. You can see the signs your boyfriend is losing interest through text when he doesn’t respond for hours, is barely available on calls, doesn’t have the same energy, and there are no flirty texts.
How to know if a guy is losing interest? If he stops texting you profoundly, he is losing interest. You see him online on social media when he hasn’t even opened up your texts. Moreover, he has stopped replying back to you sooner.
If he has started sending replies in one word, doesn’t text or call you first, and even his responses have become short, these are some signs he is losing interest!
2. You don’t spend a lot of time together.
At first, you used to spend a lot of time together—going on dates, eating together every day, watching movies, and simply being hand-in-hand all the time. But now it’s not the same anymore.
Like any new relationship, you may have spent many hours together. But lately, it’s not happening, and you’ve been thinking, “is my boyfriend losing interest?”
No matter how busy he is, not seeing each other at all can be a sign that you guys are drifting apart, and it’s bad news.
Remember that people make time for the person they love, and others just make excuses for being busy. Nobody is too busy to not meet their loved ones.
Differentiate the time you used to be together, before and now. Notice the change and ask yourself, “is he really too busy to not meet?”
3. There’s a lack of physical intimacy.
If you don’t meet often, your connection’s physical intimacy will be deprived, and there’ll be no development of feelings either. Here, physical intimacy is not just sex but holding hands, kisses, hugs, sensual emotions, and cozy feelings that you develop together.
If there’s no physical intimacy in your relationship, you cannot create a great bond between you. So if he’s avoiding being physically intimate with you, it’s one of the signs he’s lost interest in you.
He’s trying not to be intimately available for you, so your feelings would die slowly, and both of you could move on!
4. He ignores you.
When he starts ignoring you, you can assume that he’s showing signs that he lost interest. For instance, he doesn’t text back even when online, calls back after hours, sees you but doesn’t come first to you, and has also stopped complimenting you. These are some signs he lost interest; that’s why he’s ignoring you.
When asked why he’s doing so, he says he’s too stressed for a relationship or needs time to think. If he’s making excuses when talking about why he’s drifting away or ignoring you, he’s showing clear signs that he’s done with you.
It’s common knowledge that we avoid people we don’t want to talk to. So if he’s avoiding you for no good reason and makes particular excuses that don’t fit in, it’s one of the signs he lost interest.
5. He doesn’t ask many questions.
If your boyfriend or crush has stopped trying to learn about your life, it’s another sign that he doesn’t care about you or what you do in your life.
Certain things prove if a guy is into you or not. How do we know that? When a guy is into you, he would want to know how your day was, how you feel, what’s your favorite season, etc.
Simply put, he would want to learn more about you daily. This is why he’ll ask you several questions regarding your life, like:
- How was your day?
- How are you feeling today?
- Can I drop you home?
- Text me when you reach home.
- Did you have dinner?
- Can I call you?
- Let’s plan a weekend together?
- What are your favorite places to go?
- Tell me about your foodie cravings.
When a guy cares about you, he’ll ask you the things mentioned earlier and much more. However, if he doesn’t ask you any of these, it’s one of the signs he’s losing interest and doesn’t care about you anymore!
6. He no longer gets jealous.
When you talk to a certain new guy, go out and have fun with him, and your guy doesn’t get jealous; he doesn’t love you.
Remember, guys can tolerate everything, but they can’t see their girl talking and laughing with some other guy. Never. If he’s okay with you doing this and doesn’t question you or get jealous, he doesn’t love you enough.
Jealousy is an essential human trait, and guys cannot tolerate it when their girl is getting friendly with some other guy. So if he’s not reacting to your new connection, he’s done!
7. Things are one-sided now.
It’s noticeable when things are taking a weird turn in your relationship. You can feel when you’re the only one making all the efforts and are still alone at the end of the day.
When your relationship begins to feel one-sided, it’s okay to assume that your partner is drifting away. One of the signs he is no longer interested in you is when he stops making any efforts towards the relationship.
So if he started putting things before you and the relationship is not the way it was, it could be a sign you’re no longer his priority.
8. He flirts with other women.
How can you tell if your boyfriend is losing interest? He’ll start flirting with other women even when he has you. If your boyfriend acts above the line of friendliness with other women, it’s never okay.
Even if he says he did it to make you jealous, it’s not fun if he does it too much. Whether he has started flirting with other women now or has been doing it since the start, it’s one of the clear signs a man is losing interest.
Not just that, he doesn’t value or respect you either. If your boyfriend is a flirt and a sweet talker for multiple women, it’s an obvious sign he lost interest in you. Remember that you’re too good to be with someone who flirts with other women even when he has YOU.
Break up with him and move on. You deserve a guy who continues to flirt with you or chases you even after he has you!
9. There’s more fight than love in the relationship.
Everything was going smoothly before. Even if there were disagreements, you both used to cope well. But lately, there are a lot of small arguments and unnecessary disagreements, and you both are not getting along well.
He complains more, finds faults in everything you try to do, and purposely brings up topics that can lead to big fights. These things take your relationship nowhere, instead, you end up fighting and being mad at each other for hours.
Is he losing interest or am I just paranoid? Picking up fights purposely is an act of toxic behavior that leads to the end of a relationship. This is what happens when a man starts losing interest in you.
He’s intentionally fighting with you so that your relationship dies while you’re the bad person. Let such a guy go away, as going along with irrelevant fights will only ruin your mental health!
10. You have a gut feeling.
I firmly believe that our gut feeling can never be wrong. Call it intuition or sixth sense, but sometimes you know when something isn’t right, and you can feel it all over your mind, body, and soul.
If you have a feeling that, yes, he’s losing interest, it’s probably your guardian angels pointing you towards it. When you feel that something about him or your connection is bugging you, it’s better to look into this matter carefully before investing more of your emotions.
Pay attention to your gut feeling. If you suspect your boyfriend seems disinterested, confront him about it and get the truth out. You aren’t obliged to stay with someone who can’t commit his 100% to you!
11. He’s not supportive of you anymore.
A guy will do anything and everything to become the hero of his girl. If he really cares about you, he’ll be empathetic toward your personal or professional goals, whether big or small. He’ll know how much it matters to you and will support every step of your journey!
However, if you find that he isn’t supportive of your dreams or future plans, it’s clear that not only has he lost interest, but he is also absent in your future.
Is he busy or losing interest? Remember that no guy is too busy to not support you or your goals. Get yourself a man who supports your career and helps you accomplish it.
Be with a guy who knows how badly you want to chase your dreams and can die to see you on the top. Anything less than that is merely a settlement!
12. He avoids your family or friends.
Family and friends are important aspects of an individual’s life. If he’s avoiding them, you’re not a priority to him. I know he doesn’t have to meet or like them all, but he should at least know about your life and the people in it.
The guy who refuses to know about your family or friends doesn’t care about your life. It’s a sign that he’s not ready for any long-term commitment to you!
13. He doesn’t talk about the future.
Recently, he seems to avoid all conversations about your future together. He ignores you whenever you bring up a topic that involves things like,
- “We will be doing this together in the future.”
- “We will go here together.”
- “We will start a new life from scratch.”
He doesn’t continue your future togetherness conversation and also ignores you whenever you ask about his life plans. Maybe he doesn’t want to plan things or take it too far with you, and that’s why he’s avoiding it all.
Whatever the case, if he doesn’t talk about your future together, it’s a sign that he’s not interested in you!
14. His personality has changed.
Initially, he was friendly, caring, supportive, and loving. But lately, you can’t see any of these qualities in him anymore. Now, he seems more defensive, annoying, busy, and primarily self-centered.
We often change our personality around people we like or don’t like. If you’re noticing this personality change in him, chances are he’s losing interest in you.
15. He doesn’t put in a lot of effort.
He doesn’t put effort into you anymore, like being affectionate, paying attention to your needs, complimenting you, and bringing you flowers, surprises, hugs, and cute kisses. These are signs he’s losing feelings for you.
Remember, guys can do anything to make their close ones feel special. But lately, he hasn’t been paying attention to you and doesn’t care enough to do something special for you.
Efforts should be made mutually to make the relationship healthy and strong. Is he not doing it anymore? If he’s not putting any effort into making you smile or laugh out loud, he’s not interested.
16. All you do is have sex.
Physical intimacy is undoubtedly one of the vital aspects of a relationship. However, it should never be the only foundation of a connection, especially in relationships with long-term commitments.
So if you used to do a lot of things together, but now all you do is have sex, then it’s one of the signs he’s losing interest. Having too much sex also signifies an unhealthy relationship.
To nurture a healthy bond, partners must connect in all ways—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Perhaps, your boyfriend has only been active physically for the past few weeks, which makes it clear that he’s losing interest.
17. He cancels plans with you frequently.
Sometimes, life takes unexpected turns, and you end up canceling many good plans. While it feels irritating to do so, in certain circumstances, there’s nothing else that could be done. Plus, spending every second with your partner is unhealthy as it can deplete the quality of your relationship.
Always remember—Quality over quantity.
However, your boyfriend seems to cancel every single plan you make together. And it’s been weeks over weeks since you spent quality time together. He puts work, friends, family, and even minimal tasks before meeting up with you.
This could be a sign you’re not his priority anymore and also that he’s losing interest!
18. He has started being abusive.
How to know if he’s losing interest? Another way to figure out his intentions for you is by observing his behavior towards you.
Is he still caring, loving, and romantic with you? Or has he started showing signs of an abusive partner? You may be surprised to know that many people are stuck in abusive relationships.
In fact, nearly 20 men and women are abused in a romantic relationship every single minute. This accounts for over 10 million people being affected by an abusive partner in the United States in one year.
So if your boyfriend has become abusive—physically or mentally—it’s one of the signs your boyfriend is losing interest. You don’t deserve to be with someone who can’t respect you and has no problems hurting you.
Break up with this guy and move on from him. Begin loving and prioritizing yourself, so you don’t ever get stuck with a low-quality human like him.
19. He said it himself.
“I feel like my boyfriend is losing interest. How to tell if he’s losing interest?”
One of the most straightforward signs that your boyfriend loses interest in you daily is him saying it himself. During arguments, he may have said, “I don’t want to date a girl like you,” or “How did I even fall for you?”
Partners say many hurtful things to each other in the heat of anger. Many times, they come back and apologize for it, saying they didn’t mean it. But how can a person say, “I wish I never dated you,” and don’t mean that?
While it is your decision to believe what he said or not, his words will give you a glimpse of what’s going inside his mind about you. He may yell off a lot of rude things in the middle of a fight, and it’s your responsibility to take note of such statements and evaluate your position in his life.
In any case, if he’s mentioning his intentions of not being with you or regrets getting into a relationship with you, dump him.
You deserve to be with a guy who’s sure of you and keeps his tongue in control even when arguing. He would know better than to call you nasty names or say hurtful things to you.
How to ask someone if they’ve lost interest?
Suppose you’re in a long-term romantic relationship. In that case, you’ll encounter several scenarios that make you feel as if your boyfriend is losing interest, growing distant, or pulling away.
Honestly, it is pretty normal. All affinities have their lows and highs. As long as you can communicate consistently, it’s easy to get through difficult circumstances and strengthen your bond with time.
For any reason, if you feel like your boyfriend loses interest every time you meet, the best thing to do would be to talk to him about it.
Here are some excellent ways if you’re wondering how to ask someone if they’ve lost interest:
How are things going on in your life?
The most common reason a guy becomes unreachable is when they’ve something terrible going on in their private life.
It isn’t easy to have lovey-dovey conversations when going through tough times. This is because you can’t even think straight. How can you keep your emotions aside and pretend to be okay?
Guys, especially, find it very difficult to talk about their tough times with women. They feel the women will leave him after seeing him vulnerable and beaten up by life like that.
This is why he may be unwillingly ignoring you and being a little distant. At this time, you should comfort your boyfriend and ask him about what’s going on in his life.
Starting a deep conversation about important things will help you understand more about your partner. Meaningful conversations help couples be emotionally connected and have faith in their bond.
So the next time something bad occurs to him, you’re the first person he calls and talks about it.
What do you need? or Do you need time and space?
Are you wondering, “how to ask someone if they’ve lost interest?” The best way is to be straightforward. Refrain from trying to deduce everything through his actions. Talk about it. Ask him directly about what he needs (in a sweet, genuine way).
In most relationships, people try to pull away after some time because their needs are not met. This usually happens because they feel uncomfortable opening up their heart and expect their partner to understand anyway.
So if you ask him about what he needs, it’d be surprising to learn everything he’s hesitant to show, from needs to desires and whatnot. He may also speak up about things regarding you that bug him.
This question also allows you to discuss healthy boundaries in a relationship.
When was the last time you felt close to me?
If your boyfriend is being distant and doesn’t tell you why this is something you can ask him. Although, only if you know this isn’t a question that would make him uncomfortable.
“When was the last time you felt romantically connected with me?” A conversation about your emotions can unlock several topics you must discuss as a couple.
So go on and ask him how long it has been since he felt sexually attracted to you!
Do you want to make things better?
Showing interest in building a connection or repairing your relationship can ignite your boyfriend’s will to make an effort. Maybe he had been feeling over-expressive and decided to keep it low.
Seeing that you also want to take things to the next level may get him back on track. This is one of the most important questions to ask your partner if you feel he’s losing interest.
Bottom line
It was all good in the early days, but now you’ve noticed some differences in the relationship. Let’s be clear, it’s always better to find out first if he’s really busy or he’s losing interest.
It is essential to bring up the conversation if something is bothering him, and that’s why he’s acting differently. If he really values you, he’ll open up to you.
Also, know that if nothing is going on in his life and he still chooses to ignore you, it’s time to leave that relationship. Remember that you’re too good to be with a person who doesn’t value your presence.
I hope your question, “Am I overthinking or is he losing interest?” has a conclusion now. If you have any more confusions, refer to our articles mentioned below:
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